2018 Christmas vacation we visited our family in Dallas, Texas. It was the first time in three years since we visited my family and nothing had really changed with family and friends, it was me who changed.
Let me explain, before moving to California three years earlier I was very close with my family. My mother and grandmother would babysit my little one while my husband and I worked full-time. With a second child on the way and a new job offer in San Francisco we moved. I became a stay at home mom and focused on developing my natural talents.
Now back to Christmas of 2018. I spent two years developing myself between changing diapers and running a household. The most demanding job I’ve ever had btw. (I’m blessed to have this opportunity though.) It’s being on call 24-7 that I realized in order to fulfill my dreams I would have to find the time. This was by far the most difficult task! And by far it’s not a simple answer.
Long story short in preparation for my trip to visit my family during Christmas, I didn’t plan out who I which family members to catch up with or which restaurants we would eat at. Nope! I saw prime opportunity to have time for myself. For my art.
I’m not saying that I didn’t visit family and attend the family Christmas party. I’m telling you that I took advantage of having family to help me out again, with the children. To be honest that’s who my grandmother and mother really wanted to see. And if I’m being really honest….really really honest…all this was my mother’s idea. When she first found out that we were coming to visit she immediately made plans to have fun with her grandchildren and give Mommy and Daddy a break. God bless her! 🙏🏾
With everything I just mentioned let me focus on the real point of this entry titled…Forgotten Art: Time Heals an Artist. 👌🏾
The three years of squeezing out time from my days and nights to work on developing myself and my art was channeled into this Christmas vacation.
To be precise…it was channeled into 7 well-rested-DAY-time hours of straight-uninterrupted-alone-time with myself and a blank canvas.
I hadn’t experienced this amount of alone time since before I married years (and years ago.) I think I was in college, idk.
Anyways, a family member let me use their studio apartment while they were at work and for one whole work day…I painted. It was amazing! It was liberating! It was so relaxing!
Then after I finished and took a look at what I had painted I was disappointed. I felt that if I had practiced more I would have accomplished better results. I was happy to have completed so much art but at the same time I really felt after all these years it should look better.
The days following I asked family members what they thought about the paintings. Then I asked strangers! And to be honest I have never ever done this but I did. I think I was searching for validation or something. Someone to tell me I’m a “good” artist. And no one, not one person, family or stranger, actually said these words.
Also, to be honest I didn’t really know anyone, personally, who was actually interested in art. That I could converse with. I felt alone at the time.
I put away my art supplies and left my art works at my family’s studio. These canvases were too large to carry on the plane so I left them with him. At the time it was my intention to give them to someone as a gift. The Christmas vacation continued and the New Year’s celebration was even better. I kept my concerns in the back of my mind and enjoyed my family. I quickly moved on from those art works and my concerns.
After our vacation I was back to the day-to-day activities with the children and the household. I put my head down and worked when time presented itself. I forgot about my concerns whether I was a “good” artist or not and focused on developing myself. This continues to this day.
Since Christmas 2018, I’ve connected with others who enjoy art as much as I do and most importantly I found my calling as in Therapeutic Art. I also put aside what is and is not a “good” artist. I’m focused on learning as much as I can and sharing this information with you.
Just recently I was racking my brain about how I could expand my creative pursuits. How can I deliver more value to my audience and how can I find the people I would like to help! After finishing my certification coursework in February I was hesitant at to call myself a Therapeutic Art Coach because this is a whole new pursuit for me, was I really ready? Even though I had helped others and myself over the years I still questioned my abilities.
I immediately recognized my concerns are normal. I don’t like to linger on these types of thoughts too much, I identify the root cause of the thought and work to improve what I can by taking action in a forward direction. I continue to develop everything around me, one step at a time, putting behind me any doubts and obtaining the knowledge needed to better my practice.
Just last night I took a step towards my goal with ease and gratitude. It was an upgrade/ improvement to my Therapeutic Art practice.
The step seemed small at the time and I didn’t realize how much of a large step it actually was until the following morning.
The family member who lent me his studio apartment in 2018 sent me a photo of my art work hung on his wall this morning.
I haven’t seen these artworks in almost two years, I forgot about them.
All the disappointment and concerns I had during that time were gone. Not because I hadn’t seen the images in a while but due to the fact that I continued to work on my art. I didn’t let those thoughts stop me, I moved forward, one step at a time.
The timing of his message and the steps I took the night before are my confirmation of being on the right path and as always…to continue moving forward.
I hope that this message serves and encourages you. We are all in this together. 😊
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